Birthday Ramblings – 16

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The dog my parents and I met on our walk along the beach, in honor of my birthday

This Friday, I turned sixteen. An age of promise, opportunities, excitement and adventure. I would really love to believe, with my whole heart, that my year will be like that. The only problem is, I’m afraid it won’t.

I’m scared, I’ll admit it. Being sick is scary, even if I try to ignore it. It could be a lot worse, but it’s bad right now too. When people asked me how old I was turning, and I told them sixteen, each and every asker got this dreamy look in their eyes and told me what a great age sixteen is, how I’m going to have so much fun, how great it will be. Each and every one. I smiled, and nodded. I hope so, I thought to myself.

I miss out on a lot of things kids my age are experiencing, and most of the time I’m okay with that. Maybe I’m even better off without those experiences. But with all of the talk of what a great year I’m supposed to have, I just want to be a normal teenager. One who isn’t quite as limited as I am.

My mom told me that on her seventeenth birthday, she suddenly got very sad that she was no longer sixteen. She said she didn’t really understand it then, and she doesn’t now either. I assume I have no say in the matter, but that’s not what I want to be feeling next year, that I wasted being sixteen. What do I mean about that?

I think I mean, along the lines of what I’ve been thinking these past few weeks, that I don’t want to waste my time on earth being sad or upset. I want to try to get as much out of life as I possibly can, leading as free and happy a lifestyle as I can. I want to explore my abilities, learn about the world around me and enjoy absolutely every relationship I have, be it with family, friends, animals, or inanimate objects. As my friend wrote in my birthday card, “Be JOYOUS! Life, life. Life. Life, life, life, Wooh!”. She’s awesome.

Altogether it was a very nice birthday, compared to my past few (for example, my entire class throwing a surprise party on the day of my birthday for another girl whose birthday was a week away… so nobody could come to mine. Kids are mean). Laid back, pleasant, and quiet, it was along the lines of what I’m up to at the moment.

Back to my main point, which was, I do believe, that I want to enjoy being sixteen. Yeah. I do. That’s basically it. I’ll talk more about fears and joy another time, even though I feel like that’s all I talk about. But, hey, if that’s whats on my mind…. right?

Just smile and nod,

Ella

Song quote:

I’ve come to know that memories were the best things you ever had… steady as the stars in the woods. -Old Pine, Ben Howard

 

P.s. Yay for over a hundred followers! Thank you everyone! It means so much to me to know that people out there are reading what I’m writing, and that maybe, just maybe, it means something to them. So, thank you.

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15 comments on “Birthday Ramblings – 16

  1. drterrysegal says:

    I was 16 a long time ago but it feels like yesterday. I’ll tell you an enchanted secret: We each hold the key to our perceptions of our experiences. Given that, there is no doubt that yours, EVERY DAY OF EVERY YEAR, can be magical and enchanting. Sign up for a free subscription to The Enchanted Blog and receive weekly inspiration! Have fun. Choose happy. @:-)

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  2. ewada2012 says:

    Hope is the best solution..and first step in believing in success. Whenever the night ends, comes the day. All the best my dear young Friend

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  3. Thank you for the honesty you express in your writing.Never ever let yourself believe on your bad days that you wont get better and have some terrific ones in the future. It may take time but things do change and they do get better. You would be very shocked if you asked the happiest people you know if it was always that way for them.Once we have been in those dark valleys, the hill tops are all the more incredible!

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  4. Ariana says:

    Happy birthday! I’m halfway through being sixteen, and I honestly can relate to your feelings about the age. The fact that I haven’t had such an amazing teen experience like my parents often makes me sad. On the flip side, things aren’t like they used to be, and being a popular teenager in the 80s or 90s was certainly different than being one today. The remake of “21 Jump Street” describes it pretty accurately.

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  5. I hope you do enjoy sixteen. It was one of my favorite years.

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  6. Happy 16. Belated. Here’s to pleasant birthdays. — And as far as everyone telling you what a great year 16 is going to be: they may be right, they may be wrong, we all have different life experiences. The wonderful thing is that it’s up to you which years are great, and which years aren’t. It’s up to you. You, you, you, you, you have the power over those decisions.

    -J.P.

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  7. sharpword says:

    Hi Ella I am Hubert, Happy 16!!! P.S. You are a princess!! Every girl who has Fibro is! And every guy who has this disease is a prince!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I hope you – GET- that.

    I have had Fibro since I was a little guy I used to think it all started at 7-9, but now it seems that it started when I was a tiny little guy maybe 4-5

    Write the book Ella -You can do it! I have written 5 books 4 of them right here on Sharpword at word press.

    You can do it, Honey I had no clue as to how sick I have been throughout my life, It has been a horror show in many ways,

    But still no matter how much it hurts and how much I suffer, and how much people dump me and on me Its a great life, somehow.

    I would invite you to read my stuff but it’s better for you to write than to read. Just be aware that there are a lot of people out there who think they know about this disease who actually don’t know a thing! Listen to your own heart about what to do, eat, and when to rest, or when and how to fight this thing.

    I’ve been there for 50 years I know what the battle is and the hardest part is –people– ! I pray God will give you much grace and love in your life I believe that would be the key.

    Ella If you want to read about my battle with Fibro just look up some of the posts I have posted on my blog all the ones about Fibro have fibromyalgia in the title, tags, or topic.

    Love to you with hugs HR

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  8. I have been in chronic pain for life, so I can understand your feelings about being tired of being sick. I made up my mind when I was about your age to use the pain as an ally. When I am unable to sleep; I create. When movement is hard; I create. When I want to give up; I create. So far, it is working pretty well. I hope this advice makes sense. Words from the pain free seem to always be about cheerleading and not about the everyday adversity we face. I am now following you to see how it goes.

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  9. Ray says:

    Reminds me of a funny quote from a child…. Someone asked a little girl “How old are you?” She replied, using her fingers, “Four and a half!” “When will you be 5 was the next question…” She excitedly answered…. “When I’m DONE being 4!” Enjoy being 16…. it’s the only time you’ll be that age. It will be what you make it to be.

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  10. Happy Birthday! I wanted to let you know that I’ve nominated you for the Liebster Award. No pressure to participate, but I just wanted you to know that I’ve enjoyed reading your blog and wanted to pass it along to my readers. You are truly inspiring, I can relate to your words and will keep reading. Check out the post here: http://happyhealthy365.wordpress.com/2013/06/04/happy-liebster/

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  11. The Femmetastic Feminist says:

    Happy Birthday!!!
    I think 16 is overly romanticised. The older I get, the happier I have become, as I have come to feel more at ease with myself and my chronic pain/illness.

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  12. gingerelly says:

    Happy Birthday (even though it’s too late).
    I turned 17 today, and to be honest 16 is not all it’s made out to be. It’s just like every other year, and to be honest, while you might have more freedom you also have more responsibility. I actually wasted most of my year at school or studying for it. I feel like people just look back and think that it’s better than it really was. I do hope that 16 is an amazing year for you, and it certainly is a turning point in your life (I believe that a lot of kids move out and go to college at 17), but don’t pressure yourself into having the best time of your life.

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  13. 16 may not be your best year. Just keep learning more and more about yourself each day and one day you will get to a place where you know what is right for. That will be your best year!

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  14. Mike Crape says:

    Happy Birthday Ella! I look forward to reading about your adventures of being 16.

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  15. risinghawk says:

    I have been holding hands with Fibro for a long time, (longer than you have been alive . . . geesh, I’m gettin’ old!). Scared, frustrated, “sick and sick of it;” yes, all of those things and some more, too. I don’t have any answers, but I understand, and I sincerely DO hope that 16 is a normal, better year fro you. Peace . . .

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