Tomorrow, I am going to wake up, and everything will be different. Better.
When I wake up tomorrow, my first thought will not be about pain. My first emotions will not be anxiety, fear, apprehension and sadness. I will wake up warm, cocooned in my blanket, feeling refreshed. When I open my eyes, I will look forward to my day.
When I wake up tomorrow, I will not be upset with my family. I will not feel like they say the wrong things. I will not be annoyed with them.
When I wake up tomorrow, I will not have to forcefully remind myself to appreciate what I have. Everything will feel so right that appreciation will come naturally. I will look at my life, and be pleased.
When I wake up tomorrow, I will look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. I will not think about how that girl’s hair looks better, how that girl has a better profile, or how that girl’s figure is nicer. That girl will not haunt my mirror-gazing.
When I wake up tomorrow, my day will not scare me. I will not think of each day as an age, each hour as a mountain to climb. I’ll be excited, about the possibilities each hour poses.
When I wake up tomorrow, I will no longer have Fibromyalgia.
These are my tomorrows. I live in today.
When I woke up today, I told myself to think about the dream I had. When I saw my family, I accepted, dealt with, and loved my interactions with them. When I looked at where I live, what I have, and who I know, I willed the appreciation to feel natural. When I looked in the mirror, I smiled. This hour, right now, is full of possibilities.
I have Fibromyalgia.
If I don’t have today, I will never have tomorrow. I welcome you, today.
I awake to find no peace of mind. -Spies, Coldplay
All we have are moments. It is good that you are hopeful tomorrow will be better. But realistically, you may have to make your peace with having to live your life through pain. As sad as that is, it doesn’t mean your life has to be terrible. I have MS and I am at the stage where the pain pills no longer keep the pain at bay. I lived many years in pain without the relief of Lyrica. Now it barely works and I have growing pain to look forward to. But I have a perfectly full life. I struggle with depression, stress, pain, managing a difficult disease. Just like you do. Just like a lot of people do. Don’t despair of tomorrow, live for today. Live in this moment. I know, it’s easy to say, but not so easy to do, but you can learn. You can meditate, studies show meditation lowers pain levels. I have used it on migraines and trigeminal neuralgia (google it–it is considered one of the more painful afflictions) and it works. I haven’t read a lot of your blogs yet, but while I appreciate your efforts to go with holistic treatments, which is (as far as I understand) not the same as homeopathic. I will be reading more about your travails with Fibro. I hope I do not offend, but I want you to know it is possible to live a happy, fulfilling life even if if in chronic pain. I do know how hard it can be, especially with Fibro.
I can only imagine how difficult it is to live with such daily pain. Stay strong!
Love your positive spirit!!
So glad to hear your voice through your beautiful poetry.
Lovely! Well put
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and I love your outlook, keep writing….please :)
I work in a physical therapy office and I understand the torment of Fibromyalgia. Be Defiant of the Pain, Walk Strong, Live Proud…In spite of it all. Love will shine through you, through your positive attitude, and you will be a blessing to others without realizing :) You are to me!
Today is all we have and dreams are of tomorrow. Very nice Ella, wishing you more dreams that can be make better days.
Well put! Life is a miracle and should be celebrated to its fullest!