Colloquial Miss


What a colloquial miss. We tried, we really did. This is just the I-don’t-know-how-many-I’ve-lost-count day that has gone down this way. My friends are all away, having themselves some great adventures, and I made my peace with the fact that I was going to be sticking out our weeklong break at home (sweet home). I had a highlight planned: completing the first step in the agonizingly long process of getting my driver’s license.

First thing’s first, I have to get my “green slip”- green as in go. Or Kermit. It’s mainly a technicality, an eyesight check, but you need it before you can start everything. I’ve been spending my days trying to catch up on homework, which I’m somehow still behind on, and I haven’t had any fun. At all. This was the one thing I was really looking forward to. The first step- it’s so momentous.

When you go, they make sure you don’t need glasses, take your picture (which is the one that will go on your license) and hand you your green slip. So, I purposely straightened my bangs today, picked out a shirt that makes my neck look great (just go with it) and brings out the blue in my eyes, and put on a tad of make up. I spent the whole entire day doing homework, primarily math (a whooping 65 geometry proofs and differential math equations for over vacation), making it through solely because I had something to look forward to. I was alone at home all day, with the excitement just growing and throbbing inside of me, pulsing with my heart.

My mom swooped by the house at a quarter to seven, and we drove to the mall, to the store that green slips people (awkward verb improvisation going on here). We arrive, after my long day of anticipation, and my mom and I talk about how exciting all of this is, and how it’s such a big step even though it’s a technicality. We walk into the store, tell them why we’re there and what do they say? “We don’t do that anymore”. You’re kidding me right?

We find out that as of a few days ago or something equally annoying in a ridiculous manner, a store on the main street is in charge of green slipping people. My puffed up plastic bag of anticipation started deflating. My mom and I leave the mall, get back in the car and start driving again. It was so anticlimactic. She agrees with me. We parked in the municipal parking lot off of the Main Street and start in our mad dash to find the infamous store. We’re running, running, running, (running), and we arrive out of breath as we see the overhead sign. We practically leap forward, and guess what? It’s closed. It closed at seven.

You’re frickin’ kidding me, right?! RIGHT?!



That plastic bag still half full of spitty air? Punctured. Slashed. Empty. Hollow. Deflated. Depressing. Gone. Lost for eternity.

In an attempt to rebound into something positive, we brought my memory stick over to a photography store to get the pictures on it developed. All’s great, all’s well, until they let us know that because they’re closing soon, we’ll need to come back tomorrow to pick up the pictures. Yippee.

So we got frozen yogurt.

But do you know what this means? This means, that when we go back tomorrow my hair will be oily, I will no longer be wearing my perfect picture shirt, I’ll have dark circles under my eyes (because I can’t sleep when I’m upset) and I will have no spitty bag of anticipation. I will look tired and depressed in my picture. And the lighting in that store is awful. I will end up looking grotesque.

But here’s to being optimistic, eh?

As we were sitting outside the frozen yogurt shop, while I drowned my sorrows in banana-date flavored yogurt, I explained to my mom why the situation sucks so much. I was just getting to the part about how I look pretty today, and I won’t tomorrow, when someone walked right by our table. So a random woman got a mouthful about how “I looked pretty today!!!” My mom started laughing when the woman looked back at us, and tried to console me with the fact that at least it wasn’t a boy from my class. You know why it wasn’t one of them? Because they’re all abroad! I’ve got friends right now in Rome, Barcelona, Amsterdam, Switzerland, Thailand, New York… Everywhere but right here, suffering with me. Although I think J will be back from Barcelona soon. Maybe I can depress her too. Here’s to hoping.

You know what? I wasn’t planning on doing this tomorrow. This is messing up my schedule! I’m lying, I have no plans. It’s just annoying. It’s doubly sad: I need to go there again, and I don’t have any plans.

I’m just gonna go to bed now. I think it’s safe.

It’s me,


Song Quote:

The worst things in life come free to us. –The A Team, Ed Sheeran

P.s. You know what? I’m gonna wear this shirt again. Take that.


11 comments on “Colloquial Miss

  1. […] that have been following diligently, you know that I have already started my driving process (see Colloquial Miss if you want to catch up on that lovely experience). Well, after getting your green slip/form (where […]


  2. Wow, Downey Jr. and I think somewhat alike, I have wanted a monkey butler for years, to keep my apartment nice and tidy! And I have joked about going bananas and wanting to take over Hawaii (I want my own Island… who doesn’t though…) with a personally trained monkey military in the past… I’m not sure if this is good or bad that I think like him… I’ve heard he is a self-confessed narcissist…

    Sounds like you are in college, and don’t have a license yet… I didn’t get mine until I was 21 myself, it’s like a rite of passage… lol I slay me, with my play on words sometimes… I don’t need anyone to humor me, I humor myself just fine with my ramblings… that sounds like narcissism… I may have Downey Syndrome…

    Please excuse my irreverency, and good luck on getting your license, if you haven’t already, person who has liked my blogs before that I am sorry I am just now being friendly back to! :)


  3. kintsugi999 says:

    Well, you looked pretty for your mother! Who is far more important than anyone who might ask to look at your license, no? And really when we’re asked to show our license it isn’t usually a moment to worry about impressing them with the picture, is it?


  4. A Maine Mama says:

    I also am a fan of making blue eyes look even more blue…blue eyed myself, the perfect colors can make or break a sparkling blue eyed moment! License pictures…mine always come out well, and here, if the picture is awful, they will retake them until it’s “just right!” As far as feeling left out of adventures…we all feel that way sometimes. But an adventure is ANYTHING that helps you break out of your normal routine, challenges you a little bit, and pushes you to be, even momentarily, someone more than you are! I have faith that more than just the license can provide you the wings you are searching for. Good luck fair adventurer…


  5. Just wait until you get the real license, then you can try all over again.


  6. Taylor Jamieson says:

    I liked the part that made your eyes more blue best. :)

    Tomorrow is waiting on your pillow.



  7. Ranting Crow says:

    Do keep smiling, surely the Yoghurt wasn’t that bad.
    Yup they do come free and usually in three too.


  8. Megan S says:

    Hope tomorrow goes better :-)


  9. Anish Vyavahare says:

    Over where I live, they take the pics with a webcam that is stuck in your face, so you invariably end up looking like a door knob with eyes. But what I actually wanted to comment was, the song quotes you use are totally awesome!


  10. Absolutely, wear the same shirt. I’ve never had a decent driver’s license picture, and I’ve been getting them for years.


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