A Letter to My Enemy


Dear Fibromyalgia,

I’d like to talk doogree with you.

           Doogree- straightforwardly, with no beating around the bush

I am no longer naïve enough to believe that despite your presence I can make my life the way I’d like it to be. I am old enough now to realize that I can never make peace with you. I will never be my truest self until I am rid of you.

Did you hear that? I will not be free until I am free of you.

You are constricting me. You are suffocating me. You are the enemy I fear, the pain I dread, and the negative I cannot escape. You. Suck.

My friends wonder how I do it, how I live with you in my life. I wonder why.

I just want to make sure you are not mistaken on this: we are not friends. It has been years and I tolerate you, but that does not mean I do not hate you with every fiber of my being.

See what I did there?

There is not much more to say.

The next time I write to you, I hope it will be a goodbye.


Song Quote:

Light up, light up, as if you have a choice. –Run, Snow Patrol

10 comments on “A Letter to My Enemy

  1. cmj513 says:

    I was diagnosed 2 days ago.. I found your blog last summer, after dealing with pain and fatigue for years and not saying anything to anyone, your blog has been one of the things that has made me feel like I’m not crazy. Thanks for sharing your life, and stay strong <3


    • Ella says:

      Wow, I am so sorry to hear you have been suffering for so long and I hope the diagnosis leads to some relief. I’m so moved by the fact that my blog helped you, and I wish you all the best <3


  2. ChronicMom says:

    This is beautiful. You put my feelings into words. I too hope to be able to say goodbye to my enemy.


  3. lymeslices says:

    Love the topic and gonna do it myself :) Guess the good thing this “Liebster Award” made me sit down and scroll through some of my followers/commenters blogs. i am way behind on reading posts….now that the full moon is over i hope to get a little more caught up.
    Anyway – nominated you 4 the Liebster Award :) But no biggie if you don’t do it…..it got me back to reading…More info at https://slicesoflymepie.wordpress.com/2015/02/05/liebster-award-from-a-fellow-spoonie/ .


  4. Julie Ryan says:

    I wrote a letter of my own sometime last year. I agree we (Fibro and I) will never be friends, but at the same time there is much that I have to thank Fibro for. If I could go back and choose to never have Fibro I certainly would, but I’m thankful for some of the things it has brought to my life.


  5. machineheadmedia says:

    I 2nd that as I am a survivor of the dreaded curse to which you speak. A pain in the neck literally, with secondary inflamation throughout my body. However I will not let it prevent me from my first love after my wife & daughter which is playing the drums & guitar which @ times can be excrushiating. Yours in strength with sincerity & respect VinStone ☆☆☆♡♡♡☆☆☆ ;-)”


  6. cynryan says:

    I like the idea of writing a letter to your enemy. I’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer twice during the past two decades and I know firsthand how formidable opponent disease can be.

    Keep on fighting off your enemy.


  7. Reblogged this on Pearls Of POTSitivity and commented:


  8. lwarfield says:

    Could not have said it better! Thanks for putting the words out there.


  9. DotedOn says:

    Hi Ella,
    I hope you beat your enemy soon. Hugs :)

    Liked by 3 people

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