I will walk in there.

I will walk in there

With my head held high

And tell him it’s time

I say

Goodbye.

 

I will tell him:

 

For months and months

It’s been the same old story.

We’ve been going around and around

The same things

And nothing changes.

My feelings keep getting hurt

And I deserve better.

 

I don’t think you realize how much it hurts

When I get my hopes up that things will change.

 

I do what’s best for you

And you do what’s best for you.

Can’t you see that’s not how it’s meant to be?

 

Every time I have to wait for you to decide

Whether you’re going to come see me or not

(And you decide not).

Every time you say I should tell you what I need

And then I do

(And you don’t do it).

Every time I hear the phrase

“This is what’s right for me right now”

(And what’s right never seems to be

Being with me).

Every time,

I lose a little bit of my self respect

Because every time, I just accept.

But I can’t keep doing that.

There’s a limit

And we have reached it.

I don’t want to keep feeling like I have to beg

For your attention.

 

If I keep forgiving

That which hurts my heart

I’m not sure what I’ll have left of it.

 

It was exactly a year ago that I told you I loved you

For the very first time.

I gave my heart to you that night

And now I have to take it back.

 

I know my self worth.

 

I deserve someone who drops everything

When I tell them I need them.

I deserve someone who does the utmost they could possibly do

To get themselves to my side.

I deserve someone who wants to see me

More than anything.

I deserve someone who doesn’t make me wait

And wait and wait.

I deserve someone who never, ever,

Makes me feel (even just a little bit) rejected.

I deserve someone who puts me first,

And who loves in the way that I love.

 

Sometimes, you were that person.

But often, you weren’t.

I owe it to myself

To demand better.

 

I know my self worth.

 

I will say goodbye

And then I will walk out of there.

 

And also:

 

When I walk out of there

I will break my own heart.

~

Goodbye, Tomie Tom. You’ve been my world. I will always love you. I miss you already.

~

Ella

“I’ll always love you, but tonight’s the night I choose to walk away, I’ve got to.” Midnight Train, Sam Smith