The Year of the Extreme – 18

18

My dad always says that the best way to live your life is by being where you are.

I’m very good at being where I am and feeling everything to the fullest, for better or for worse. Today is my 18th birthday. Looking back on 17, I see it as the year of the extreme.

When I was happy, I was really happy, but when I was hopeless, I was really hopeless. So it went with every emotion, from anxiety and sadness to excitement and love. There were times when I felt like I loved my friends so much I would burst, but others when I felt like my struggles were all for naught and I have no future. I felt everything so strongly, and though it’s part of what makes me who I am, it doesn’t lead to the most stable way of life. This year has been exhausting. Maybe it has to do with age or maybe with my personality, but I hope that in the coming year I’ll be able to maintain a steady, positive outlook.

I am a happy and optimistic person, stuck in a situation that often leads me to lose sight of all the good. There is a constant war inside of me, trying to lift myself, suspend myself, and run far, far away from the pain.

There are two things I’ve learned from a person I appreciate very much:

  • Every time I feel pain, of any kind, it only makes me more human. With every new experience of hardship there are many more people whose difficulties I can relate to and to whom my understanding can extend.
  • The moments in life of intense emotion are beautiful. Never before had I looked at my breaking points as beautiful, but this statement of sorts fits perfectly into how I view the world and manage my way through it: we can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we look and approach it. I now suddenly find myself sobbing in anguish in my bed and thinking, “This is beautiful. These feelings are beautiful.”

I am eternally grateful to this person.

There’s this exercise where you imagine all of your thoughts as cars on a highway in front of you and you need to try to stay calm and just watch them as they pass by, without feeling like you’re in the traffic yourself. You are an observer of your own thoughts, and you don’t need to find yourself in chaotic, honking danger of being caught in the way of the cars. This year I definitely found myself precariously jaywalking.

The truth is that from every time I’ve reached rock bottom, I’ve risen with newfound insight and maturity. I’ve known for a long time that happiness is not a state that you achieve, but rather something you need to learn how to glimpse when you pass it by. If you don’t notice it, appreciate it and cherish it, you will never feel like you’ve found it. There were moments this year when I was happy. Albeit greatly overshadowed by pain, fear and anger, I will not let myself view this year as one devoid of happiness.

This year holds the record for fewest moments of hating myself. I genuinely like who I am, and in my better moments, I can see myself succeeding in my life. My parents raised me to acknowledge my strengths, and so I do. My strengths are my weaknesses, and vice versa, but I’ve made my peace with that. I am a wonderful person, if only because of how hard I try to be so, and it feels really good to say that.

I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I can’t view myself in two months, and definitely not in two, ten or twenty years, but I have a few wishes.

I hope I never forget to remember that people are large and we contain multitudes (Walt Whitman’s “Song of Myself”, section 51). I will live my life with an open mind, open eyes and an open heart. I will always try to see people and accept them for all that they are. If there is one thing that really gets to me, it’s when people judge others and don’t give them the benefit of the doubt. Every single one of us has feelings, memories, and a story of their own, and that is never to be belittled.

“I want to encourage you to be vigilant in the struggle towards empathy… You will have a choice about how to read the actions and intonations of the people you meet. I would encourage you as often as possible to consider… the possibility that the lives and experiences of others are as complex and unpredictable as your own. That other people… are not simply one thing or the other – not simply good or evil or wise or ignorant… You will always be stuck inside of your own body, with your own consciousness, seeing the world through your own eyes, but the gift and the challenge… is to see other as they see themselves, to grapple meaningfully with this cruel and crazy and beautiful world in all of its baffling complexity.” –John Green, commencement speech 2013

I hope my relationships grow stronger and more meaningful every day. I hope I keep trying even harder to be a good person. I hope I don’t lose sight of how much I love life. I hope I fall in love (she puts in the middle of the paragraph to feel less silly for writing it). I hope I keep writing, because it brings me joy and pride. I hope I retain my enthusiasm for everything I love. I hope time will do its job and freaking cure me already. I hope I never let my difficulties cloud my vision. The vision is everything.

Nothing is ever ideal, but the love I’ve been receiving today fills me with warm and fuzzy feelings. Kind words pouring in from everyone that matters to me makes it all seem worth it.

Here’s to being 18.

Love,

Ella

Song Quote:

The backs of my eyes hum with all of the things I’ve never done. –Welcome Home, Radical Face

The True Reason You Should Be Kind

How cool is the world? I mean, seriously, how cool is it? Because I think it’s pretty freaking cool. There are just so many people. Every single one of them has a name, has thoughts, feelings, and a story. Then I think of how many people have lived since ever, how many nights have been slept through and how many sunrises watched. How many breaths have been breathed!!! The average person takes between 17,280 and 23,040 breaths a day, and there are about 7.2 billion people alive today. And that’s just one single day…

I am the only person who will ever be me, and there is so much to me. That means that… it’s just… wow. I can’t wrap my mind around the vastness of it all.

I think these thoughts more often than is probably normal (we’re talking at least once a day, usually more), but especially prompted by two things: good news and bad news.

The good news is when I’m uplifted, when I realize how awesome and incredible the world is (in other words, a Big Thinking Moment). Things like the “Project for Awesome” remind me how many people have good values and are creative and inspiring. Music and books and movies remind me that I am not alone. Nature brings me back to earth (literally), and it’s when I feel peaceful and whole that I value the beauty of our surroundings and remember to stay connected to it. My family and friends remind me how lucky I am to have them. Or all of these at the same time.

FullSizeRender

Had quite the onslaught of Big Thinking Moments as I stood staring at this and wondering how the colors could possibly be natural. I didn’t edit this picture at all — it was real life, in all it’s glory.

The bad news is when I hear about suffering. War makes me sad, and I become sadder when I realize that if we haven’t yet found a way to eradicate it, we are not as developed as we think we are. My hopelessness strips away the beauty I previously saw. Racism, cruelty, prejudice, hate, torture, rape, murder… I lose my faith in humanity, if only for a few moments. This is when I realize that if there are so many people in the world and we each experience hardships, there’s a sh*t-load of hardship going around.

The bad news is also what leads to me keeping things in perspective and not taking anything for granted. So on the personal scale I suppose you could say I find a way to make something positive of it, but in reality it just sucks and I hate the world sometimes.

I would say I range from being realistic and practical to being truly optimistic, and this is what keeps me going. My ability to find good and change the way I look at situations is something I have worked to cultivate and plan to fall back on throughout life.

So the way I approach the bad news? I try to be nice. Because yes, there are those with a vision who can change the world, and yes, I could set myself the goal of being one of those people, but that isn’t me (at least not yet). What I can do now is see people. I can notice when they’re having a hard time and need a kind word or gesture. I can tell when they need to be recognized for their personal successes and their abilities, and I try to do that for them. I also just say “hi” and ask how they are because I genuinely want to know. The ways are endless…

This doesn’t mean I’m perfect. This doesn’t mean I’m a good person. What this means is that I’m trying. That is all that can be asked of a person, and that is what I ask of you: please, try to be nice to all of those around you. Small gestures can make such a difference to people, and I’m not going to get all cliché and say that together we can change the world, but together we can make someone happy. Maybe that’s enough.

In the words of the great Ellen Degeneres, be kind to one another. Bye-bye.

Ella

Song Quote:

So, so you think you can tell heaven from hell, blue skies from pain. -Wish You Were Here, Pink Floyd

Everything You Say

 

followed-blog-1000-1x

I’m either emotional because I have The Lion King soundtrack playing in the background, or because this week I passed a huge milestone: 1,000 followers. Probably both. I arrived at school holding my phone an inch from my nose, telling my friends that I had 999 followers. After refreshing the page, I had 1,001. After a spastic happy dance that happened, I took a deep breath and started to process what this meant. I started this blog on a whim. I named it, came up with the concept, wrote the first post, wrote the about page and designed the site in one day. I had no idea it would come this far.

I’ve learned a lot in these past ten months. It’s a privilege to have been able to share it all with you. I’ve also learned a lot from you. The comments section has become probably my favorite part of blogging. A lot of the comments brought a smile to my face on hard days. A lot of the comments made me proud to be who I am. A lot of the comments gave me confidence in my abilities. A lot of the comments brought tears to my eyes.

I didn’t realize, when I came up with the idea to compile all of my favorite comments into one post, what a hefty task it would be. Not only did I underestimate how much time it would take to read through over four hundred comments, I also underestimated how hard it would be to choose. I don’t actually feel like I’ve done the best job with it. I love all of the ones that made it in here, but there are so many more that I love and hold dear to me that just got overlooked accidentally. I’m worried that commenters will be upset to not find any of theirs in here. Please don’t be upset. Every single comment made me happy, and I appreciate people taking the time to write a few words and brighten my days.

Without further ado, please enjoy the jumbled mess of my favorite comments!

From Birthday Ramblings:

 

Yvonne’s Musings says: 
June 24, 2013 at 10:43 pm 
Thank you for the honesty you express in your writing. Never ever let yourself believe on your bad days that you won’t get better and have some terrific ones in the future. It may take time but things do change and they do get better. You would be very shocked if you asked the happiest people you know if it was always that way for them. Once we have been in those dark valleys, the hill tops are all the more incredible!

 

From I Am Effervescent:

 

todayschapter says: April 30, 2013 at 7:06 pm   Please keep blogging, it is a fantastic outlet and you have a strong written style that’s fun and easy to read. I can’t profess to understand your situation but I do know that people who’ve experienced tough times make for far more interesting writers than the people floating happily from cloud to cloud!

 

From I’m Not That Simple:

 

happyhealthy365 says: 
July 11, 2013 at 5:59 pm 
Nodding. Nodding. Nodding. I LOVE IT! You’re meant to be a writer. Amazing.

 

From It’s A Landmark:

happyhealthy365 says: 
June 28, 2013 at 6:00 pm 
Beautiful piece! I love the way you write; you truly are a gifted writer. Congrats on finishing and surviving a full year at school with fibro. This is something to celebrate. Surviving a year with chronic pain is an accomplishment itself and being able to manage school in the meantime is something to be proud of! You are strong and inspiring!

lenniferocious says: 
June 26, 2013 at 8:39 am 
Your writing is lovely Ella, and I understand your pain. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia nearly three years ago when I was 17 and although I am much better now than I was, how debilitating it has been for me still gets me. You’re doing so well to keep going, you certainly have tenacity! 
Best wishes,
Leanne

 

From Pinning Down Magic:

 

Ivy says: 
June 10, 2013 at 9:37 pm 
You are a word sorceress, a language lady, a letter creator extraordinaire!
Thanks

hope4theheart says: 
June 15, 2013 at 7:53 pm 
Hello Ella – you write beautifully. I was so surprised as I read to learn you are sixteen. There is so much wisdom in what you write, such a beautiful soul  I am sorry that Fibromyalgia is part of your life. I want to encourage you that there is hope and life can be full and wonderful. I was diagnosed in 1998 and I am walking, talking proof there is hope, help and healing. Here’s to a bright future filled with hope for you!

 

From Ready For A Zombie Apocalypse:

 

sociallyoxward says: 
May 5, 2013 at 8:06 pm 
My biggest fear is no where near as deep or meaningful as yours, but I figured I’d share it. I’m terrified of my identity being stolen. Everyone makes fun of me for it, but I just worry about it all the time.
Having said that, I’m kept up most nights by smaller worries– like did I finish that homework or did I just put it away for later and forget? Or did I offend person X when I made joke Y? Or things like that.
Anyway, I hope enough of your fears have come true for your life– it sounds to me like they have. And if more do, I hope your friends & family & blog (maybe?) help you through them…

 

From Let It All Rain Down:

 

Chantelle says: 
November 8, 2013 at 5:25 pm 
Just sent a concentrated wave of peace and relief your way. I hope you feel it even a little bit.

 

From Supermarket Kind Of Feeling:

 

learn singing for beginners says: 
July 16, 2013 at 9:38 pm   
I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
Please answer back as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. cheers

(I was so ecstatic to hear that someone liked the way my blog looked. I answered her and let her know the I did indeed create this website by myself, and gave her all the info.)

 

From The Life Of A Nightmare:

 

auntieyol says: 
May 26, 2013 at 1:53 pm 
Think of this. That many people you see walking on the streets that look normal because they don’t have any physical disadvantage have something bugging them. Everyone has. Maybe they are suffering an abusive parent or spouse, an a.h. boss, an impending death in the family, discrimination because of age, gender, race, political views, sexual orientation, financial status… They may be pissed off and angry all the time because they are too ugly, too fat, too thin, just because someone put that thought in their minds when they were little. Life is full of pain for everyone. Each pain is different. Few people find joy in everyday life all the time. My thoughts. I also have my pains that I try to endure and then, there are so many beautiful moments in life. I pray your life will improve with technology. There must be a cure soon. Envision it. Many I am sure, are praying for you.

rionm2013 says: 
May 26, 2013 at 3:46 pm 
The one thing anyone who writers should do is be honest and show their heart. You do both in this blog, I don’t want to say something to you that you have probably had a million times from your loved ones, and it wouldn’t sound any better coming from a complete stranger, so all I can say is this.
You have opened my eyes, to your pain and what it must be like for you. In a way only words can sometimes.
Keep up the blogging.

 

From The Little Things:

 

busymindthinking says: 
June 3, 2013 at 1:28 pm 
You have much to offer! I look forward to working through your archives. You deserve support and have found it here. Voicing all your feelings is healthy. I have come to realize that recently myself. As yet, I have no answers as to what has changed me so much this past year (prognosis pending), but I hang on to hope via the support and encouragement of people here. I’ll think of you daily now. Blessings.
Belinda

From To Create:

 

myjourneythrume says: 
September 11, 2013 at 10:45 am 
Wow that is stunning. I am totally incapable of drawing so I totally admire people who do have that skill. It’s lovely to read the joy you clearly take from art. It’s inspiring.

 

From What A Wonderful World:

davecenker says: 
August 20, 2013 at 3:58 pm 
Beautiful! You have much more eloquently described my need to wander with your lyrical prose  I want to experience all that this world has to offer, the sights, the sounds, the smells, the people, the food, the culture, the big thinking moments that are inevitably going to come along the way. Thank you so much for your inspiring words!

From About:

leonardlzw says: 
December 15, 2013 at 8:33 pm  
Whoa! Really inspiring! This message shows that we CAN indeed keep on moving forward no matter what! Keep on thinking this way!  And I believe that you will of course get better, and you’ll change lives because of it!

leonardlzw says:December 15, 2013 at 8:53 pm   
Not that you aren’t already changing lives!

dangerzonerez says: 
July 29, 2013 at 7:59 pm   
What an honest blog! You are a great writer Ella! I love the resilience and humor you face your illness with! “Having a bad day? Me too” is what really caught my attention. What a great way to sum everything up and remind us all that things can always be worse! I look forward to more great writing from you in the future.

Shirley Anne says: 
June 10, 2013 at 4:36 pm   
I am so sorry to learn you are suffering with Fibromyalgia, it must be so difficult for you. I hope one day you will be much better. Love
Shirley Anne x

Everyday Small Things by KT says: 
June 9, 2013 at 8:10 pm   
Dear Ella, 
Having just read this page I have a feeling I’m going to really love your blog! You’ve articulated things I struggle to just on this page – thanks! I’m excited to read more!!!! xx

swollenjoints says: 
June 3, 2013 at 9:10 am  
Hey there.
It’s actually so relieving to know people my age have the same problem as me. People around me find it hard to understand my conditions and I feel like I just found my sanctuary.
I really do hope your conditions ease up & you become pain free very soon.
Hope to speak more xox 
- Rayanne xox

ergozen says:

December 19, 2013 at 11:27 pm 

I read several of your posts and enjoyed them quite a bit. I pray you get well and soon. In the meantime, keep writing! You’ve got talent. Cheers,

 

From Colloquial Miss:

 

Anish Vyavahare says: December 4, 2013 at 4:49 am  

Over where I live, they take the pics with a webcam that is stuck in your face, so you          invariably end up looking like a doorknob with eyes. But what I actually wanted to comment was, the song quotes you use are totally awesome!

From Sharing Is Caring:

 

didaniskawi says:

December 20, 2013 at 2:42 am 

In the greatest of adversity, is born the highest of character. Just as in all tragedy there is divine truth, and in those tragic truths we find our art, and in the pains that plague our souls, we find our heart. The earth has many angels, the kindest souls who’ve volunteered to suffer the pain of existence, for the benefit of bringing light to the souls of man. Be strong Princess Ella, and remember that your soul doth fly.

Ivy Dashti says:

December 10, 2013 at 6:58 pm  

I don’t think that anyone ever really ‘gets’ what people go through, how people feel, how people experience things. Whether it is pain, suffering, joy, fear…. whatever it is- we cannot get under another persons skin, or in their heart, or head and feel it like they do… But we can get close… We can feel some of it, or imagine a bit how it is… That’s just the way it is… I like reading your words

 

joynpain2 says:

December 10, 2013 at 4:34 pm 

I do know how you feel. Maybe not having to go through high school with it, but the pain part. I too awake every day with severe pain, deal with it throughout my day, and then try to find a way to sleep with it every night. However I was at university when mine got bad, so bad that I could no longer go out with my friends or even sit through class. So, now you know at least one person who FEELS what you feel. If you ever need to talk my email address is joynpain2blog@gmail.com. If you email me, I will even give you my number if you would rather talk. Stay strong.

 

From I’m Scared:

 

Grasping for words says:

December 24, 2013 at 1:02 am  

The saying is old and possibly cliché that “when it rains it pours” but it’s true. I’m sorry you’re going through so much stress, but trust me, it does end. I’m not sure what your age is but it sounds like you are younger by your talk of school. I’m not going to tell you to not worry because you’re young. That never works. The stress you are in is real, but remember, that you’ll look back at this in a couple of months, a year, two years and think, “I made it through that”. I’ve gone through some nasty stressors. I used to get hives from stress in school, and then it escalated to seizures. I had to learn to center myself at night and realize that these things will eventually pass and I just have to power through as gracefully as I can.
Here’s another cliché but true saying. God gives you only what you can handle. Sometimes I think He likes to test the waters to see what you can take. Maybe this is one of those moments. These times feel like forever but they will pass and you’ll look back and they’ll seem like a flash.

Good luck and I’ll keep you in my prayers. Hold tight and look to your family and prayer to get through.

Michelle

seunodukoya says:

December 20, 2013 at 11:49 am  

It hurts to know that people go through so much and there’s little you can do to help. I do wish you the very best, and I will pray for you guys.

You’ll get through this stronger as a family and individually.

Topaz says:

December 16, 2013 at 12:34 pm 

I’m so sorry. Praying for your family. Stay strong. Xx

(All of the comments left on my blog the day I wrote this post played a huge part. It was a rough day, and each comment meant a lot to me.)

 

From Try To Keep Up:

 

augustmeditations says:

December 26, 2013 at 11:43 pm

I trust your sister is okay. And I hope your headache dissipates like dew in the morning sun.

Your story is so representative of all of our encounters with people who deal with the public. What’s important to us is matter-of-fact to them, so they seem cold and insensitive. But then they turn around and offer us help.

Hope your Christmas was merry and your new year is bright.

From Okay, What Now?:

 

mms20 says:

January 17, 2014 at 1:17 am  

I once tried to describe that very disconnect to a friend of mine and he had no idea what I was talking about. But I definitely know what you mean. When it’s like you’re watching life happen around you but you’re completely apart and separate from it all, just a spectator and not a participant. I know what it’s like dealing with chronic pain and how it all seems so futile, but focus on the good, if you can, and if not focus on one small thing, anything at all to help take your mind from everything and to help you re-connect so to speak. I find that when you focus in, it makes everything a little more bearable. Idk if that will make sense, but I hope it does and I hope you feel better.

Taylor Jamieson says:

January 15, 2014 at 2:08 am  

I love following the process of your writing and how your voice calms and your thoughts focus and you find your place at a destination you didn’t know you were headed when you started…

more than doctors or pills or even the pretty girls at physio after my accident, just saying, I find the words are the best therapy in themselves in the stolen moments.

what should you do at 1000? …at the first 10k I ran after the doctor said I’d never run again a bunch of people along the beach put up a banner between two posts that read, .life has no finish line. I was pushing a stroller in the rain with my little son and they cheered.

They were right, there is no finish line. A true traveler has no destination and does not know when they will arrive.

Keep writing.

(Read this comment out loud to my mom, and she started crying. Yes, we’re related.)

A M Maxim says:

January 14, 2014 at 4:47 pm  

I love this. Your content is golden. I wish more people would think like you. Keep it going.

arthurdidymus says:

January 11, 2014 at 10:56 pm  

You have a way with words … It’s amazing. It is terrible that you are going through these hard times and it makes me sad, yet, it is inspiring to see how you write about all that you have been through. It seems to me you are a good person; good things are bound to come your way.

carolynismyname says:

January 16, 2014 at 4:46 pm  

I feel like this all the time. Nice to know that I’m not the only one. Power to ya girl! We can push through.

From In The Beginning:

 

meANXIETYme says: 
January 17, 2014 at 3:53 pm   
Thank you for touching my life, even though we don’t know each other. That is a true gift. I hope you are able to keep sharing your struggles and your triumphs with all of us.

Stephanie Wilkins says: 
December 24, 2013 at 3:36 am   
Glad I found your site and have heard your story. I will read the rest of your articles. You are a very descriptive writer and you write with much emotion. I plan on researching fibromyalgia for some of my posts, so if you would like to give me some information on any supplements or alternative treatments you have tried and how they have or have not worked for you, please write to me. If you haven’t tried anything and want to know some things to try, please let me know. 
Also, my Mother has Parkinsons disease and we were just talking about “not going back” to the way it used to be. Mother talks about being herself “before” Parkinsons and talks of herself “after”. What we’ve learned as a family going through this is that she had to walk from the light of her former life into the darkness of her disease to get to the other side where she found light again. It was her fear for awhile that kept her from walking through the darkness into her new life and embracing it. To embrace and accept her weakness was very difficult and without the Lord to comfort her and give her strength, she would not be here today. She’s not the same, but the changes that have happened have given her the opportunity to speak into the lives of others, as you are doing. She struggles, but has people around to love her through the hard times. 
Thank you for sharing your struggles. I will be praying for you and will let my Mom read your posts! God bless you.

gazdachef says:

September 30, 2013 at 6:43 pm  

Ella, you write as though I was talking to you face to face, your tone comes across pure. I enjoy reading what you have written. And always remember – a piece of paper is not blank, it holds a story to be told – my philosophy that I now share with you. I look forward to many more posts from you. Keep strong.

From Contact Me:

 

theywalkthenight says:

December 27, 2013 at 1:50 pm  

I must say I’m impressed with your work as I’ve been sitting here reading through some of your posts. Keep up the great work! It is inspirational! Music and pictures and all.

 

I’m afraid that’s all we have time for, folks. I hope this lived up to people’s expectations and may the force be with you! Sorry, I’ve been awake too long. This took a ridiculous amount of time to put together, it’s unbelievable. Usually every time I post it’s about two to three hours, between writing, editing, adding media and a song quote and arranging it all on the site. This took longer… let’s leave it at that.

 

Once again, thank you to everyone!!!! If anyone strongly feels that they need to read one of the other posts I suggested on the poll (previous post), let me know. Also, I’ve been getting a lot of emails recently, and I apologize to everyone that has written for not having had a chance to write back… like, ever. I’m sorry! I will get around to it, I promise.

 

Thank you for all of the kindness that you have shown me.

 

Hugs,

Ella

 

Song Quote:

All of the things that made you feel better, you should write it all down and put it in a letter. –Lose Your Mind, Kodaline

 

Pinning Down Magic

Image

Like I said… Magic

Magic is everywhere, but like the moon, you can’t pin it down. We’re all exposed to the Magic, but we take it in differently. For me, Magic is watching dancers on stage, moving in time with the music and each other. Magic is watching two people who are in love.

Magic is writing down how I feel. I like capturing moments and feeling, and it’s something I’ve always done. When I danced, I would choreograph a routine that portrayed how I felt right then. Anytime I danced that routine, I went back to that feeling and experienced it all over again. In art, I capture a moment, by the facial expressions, the placement, the color choice.

But when I write, it’s something different. Sure, in dance, if I made a move timid instead of strong, it changed the feeling. And if I made the background gray instead of white in a sketch, it changes the feeling. But those are nothing compared to writing. I can play with words, expressions, emotions, tensions, humor, kindness, nuances, intonation, language… I can create something I’m feeling, or something I want to feel, or a feeling I miss. That is my Magic, putting everything down in words.

Like I told my cousin this past weekend, I share my feelings a lot. With people, of course. But also with other things. I think the example I gave her was TV: if someone is crying in the movie, I’m crying too; if someone is smiling, so am I. That’s just how it goes. I express emotions through everything I do, all day long.

So I suppose, instead of my Magic being writing, my Magic should really be feelings. I do them really well. I’m like a sorceress, a magician, a wizard, a witch. My Magic is my own. There is no limit to the Magic I can have. My Magic is love, dance, art, writing, expressing, feeling… really, everything is Magic.

Lumos,

Ella

Song Quote:

Now you’ll live through the ages, I can  feel your pulse in the pages, I have written you down, Now you will live forever. -Poet, Bastille