Break.

And then comes the breakdown. Because apparently, it’s time. Because I’ve been doing so much, managing so much, taking on immense responsibilities greater than what I’ve ever handled, so yeah… something slips through the cracks.

Except that what slipped through the cracks is a big deal and beyond anything I’ve ever had to figure out before. It’s my fault, my responsibility, and I’m struggling to figure out how to fix it. Such a small mistake and such huge fallout (or at the very least that’s how I feel).

But you don’t make mistakes if you never do anything. I’ve been trying to do everything, and so I’ve made a mistake. Sometimes I forget I’m only 19. I’m living on my own and working a job I’m not really qualified for with zero training, and with that in mind – what’s surprising is that I haven’t messed up until now. Right?

It’s going to work out however it works out and then it’s going to be over.

It’s a breakdown, but I’m not really broken. I’m okay.

~~~

Ella

Song Quote:

We’re gonna get it, get it together somehow, get it together and go up and up and up.

-Up&Up, Coldplay