Change My World

There’s a lot that I don’t know. I can’t even write a complete list for you because I wouldn’t know what to put on it. But throughout my entire life there have been a few things that I’ve always known, and one of them is writing. I will always have writing.

In the past half a year I’ve written more than I’ve ever written before (even though this blog doesn’t necessarily showcase it. Sorry about that), and it’s been so good for me. I have another world, separate from the real one, which lives inside of me. Worlds are created all the time, practically every time I read a book, watch a movie or binge watch a TV show. The difference is that this world is something I invented, the people living in it are characters I dreamt up, and the meaning of it is the culmination of many, many, inner conversations and turmoil.

The cool thing about my world is that I have writing. You see, I’m in the process of turning this inner world into a world accessible to other people by writing it. I’ve done this for nearly two years with my thoughts and feelings on this blog (this is where we all freak out and scream over the fact that I’ve been writing on here for two years. I mean, sheesh, I’ve had my driver’s license for a year! Remember that saga? I remember).

screaming-profile

I googled “freak out and scream” and of all the amusing photos, this one won

This is different though. This isn’t me sharing the thoughts I have on my life and my body and my situation. This is me sharing a story. A story I’m building, crafting, imagining, and loving. I really love it.

It’s cool to think that maybe someday, you will all read my book. Like, in an actual physical copy, with my name embossed on the front and the blurb about the author including this very blog. You’re all going to be famous!

I’ve had ideas for novels before but they were never real. This one is real. This one is serious. This one is actually happening.

On the list of things that I don’t know goes my plans for next year. I have __ months of high school left (I can’t bring myself to count). I don’t know what I’ll be doing, because stinking fibro cancels out all of my options. But I’ll always have writing. Who knows, maybe this is fate stepping in and making sure I won’t be able to move on to the next natural step so that I can sit down and write this book.

Will it change the world? Probably not.

Will it change mine? Probably.

Yours,

Ella

Song Quote:

I put my faith in me. –Long Shot, Newton Faulkner

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I’m Going to Go with Passion

I’m having trouble concentrating on life because all I want to to do is write the story I have in my head right now. I can’t even focus on writing a post without getting distracted and wanting to write VIQ (I don’t want to share the whole title just yet, so just initials for now).

This isn’t what I usually write on here, but I’ve actually come to the conclusion that maybe this too will interest you. Because when you have a lot of pain, like I’ve had the past few weeks, you don’t get to do what you want to. You aren’t free. All I wanted to do was write but even typing hurt my hands too much. Now that I’ve regained functionality I have this drive inside me to let my creativity run abound and get this story from my head to the pages. It’s not a fire, even though some writers describe it that way, but the words are definitely burning to get out. I think I’d call it… Obsession? Urge? Passion. I’m going to go with passion. I have to admit, I’m really excited about VIQ. It’s different than what I usually write and all of the previous novel ideas I’ve had. It’s kind of a fun story that observes the way the whole world is so small these days, and how we can all be connected to the exact same thing despite the distance between us. It’s also a huge mash-up of all of my favorite daydreams to escape to. For once it feels nice not to write about the things that are sad and hard for me. Not that that is the only thing I write on here- there are plenty of things that have to do with normal life and happier topics. But still, in this novel, no one is sick and I like that.

So here’s to VIQ and huge breakthroughs,

Ella

Song Quote:

If you could read my mind, love, what a tale my thoughts could tell. -If You Could Read My Mind, Gordon Lightfoot Do you feel this passion too?