Isn’t it crazy that you write the truth and then forget how it feels? You believe in looking at things as beautiful, but you simply don’t remember to. Because bad monsters clout everything, because you can’t remember what it’s like to feel like yourself, because sadness is so overwhelming while happiness is so fleeting.
But yes. For the first time in forever, you feel like you’re going to be okay. And for even just a few days, you felt good. You existed under a new sky, you rediscovered what it is to hope, you felt optimistic about new opportunities and you felt worthy of love. You also believed in it.
A new sky…
(Taken in Baveno, Italy, this summer)
So relax. Take a deep breath. Tell your brain that everything is going to be okay. Sleep well. Dream happy.
Just live. Isn’t it beautiful seeing the magic?
I just want to be ok today. –Be OK, Ingrid Michaelson
(The third in an unintentional trilogy… Some Truths, Actual Truth, Remember the Truth.)
One might think there’s something romantic about a late night. The dim lights, the silent house, the rustle of the wind outside.
There isn’t. I couldn’t sleep. I got into bed at 10:30 and fell asleep at 4:30. That’s six hours of non-romance. It was frustrating. The crazy thing was, my brain was totally awake and processing the implications of the situation while also enjoying the game of keeping me awake.
I finished reading The Bell Jar. I watched three episodes of Friends. I meditated. I ate cereal. I took everything off my bed and put it all back. I solved a math question.
I did everything but sleep. My body is like “you suck” and my brain is like “yay I won!” and I’m like dead.
What do you do when you can’t sleep?
Insomnia for the win,
Even when you’re sleeping, keep your eye-eyes open. -Eyes Open, Taylor Swift
P.s. Happy second birthday “Sick and Sick of It”!!! Rather than creating a virtual cake with candles, you’re each invited to just write a wish in the comments below. I think my wish is obvious at this point.